There is a fascinating new book out called "The Collapse of Parenting: How We Hurt Our Kids When We Treat Them Like Grown-Ups." The author of the book is Dr. Leonard Sax.
I had the chance to interview him and he has some interesting insight.
One of the biggest problems Dr. Sax sees is parents are confused in their role.
He says the basic principles have not changed in parenting over the last twenty years, but technology has.
Do you think parents should be their kids' friend? According to Dr. Sax and based on research, the answer is no. "A friend cannot command a friend. A friend cannot give orders to a friend because they are peers. But a parent must command a child in some settings. For example, no you are not allowed to take your cell phone to bed. This is not a matter of negotiation."
Here are some more solutions from Dr. Sax:
- Time in the Car, Dinner- no cell phones allowed. This should be time used for face to face communication and bonding.
- Cell phone- kids under 13 should not have a cell phone.
- Listen in the Right Context- Parents are listening to their kids, but in what context? Are you helping your children solve problems and be resilient or are you aiding them in being fragile?