I want to preface this story, the fourth entry of “Loretta’s Journal,” by explaining that this is not a typical story that I post on SuperMommyNot.com. My mother, Loretta, suffers from Parkinson’s disease. I appreciate all of you who read this and I hope this helps anyone living with a difficult disease or going through a challenging time in their life.
As this Mother’s Day approaches I continue to miss you. The way you used to be. The way we used to be together. But now, as time passes, and your disease takes you further and further away from all of us, I am not defeated. In fact, I have come to an acceptance of where we are in this journey.
Each time we are together, I am no longer trying to will the Parkinson’s away. You know and we know, we have all fought to keep it from taking you. Instead, I accept what we can no longer control.
Each time we are together, I love you the best way I know how. I have peace that I can be there for you. I can take care of you as you have always taken care of me. I am honored to take care of you. I accept my role with an open heart.
Each time we are together, I am grateful for the time we have. You are still here with us. I am no longer dwelling on all we have lost. I am not trying to make our relationship something it cannot be. I know how much you love me and you know how much I love you. Nothing can ever take that away from us. Nothing, not even disease. Nothing. I accept our relationship as it is.
I love you, my sweet, sweet mama. Happy Mother’s Day.
As my mother and family continue on this life altering journey, I will be writing when I feel compelled. I have been journaling to my two boys since they were in my tummy. Writing is my way to gather my thoughts and understand what is happening in my life. I feel it’s time to begin a new journal – Loretta’s journal – a chronicle of this experience my mom is going through. She has approved of me sharing her story. I have learned so much from both of my parents and in reading this journal, I hope you will too. These thoughts and perspectives are solely my own.
Below are past entries from Loretta’s Journal: